When conflict is at your doorstep 

CRJ’s Advisory Panel member Erik de Soir examines what conflict preparedness really means for individuals, families, expatriates, and organisations.


Image by nicemorning | Magnific

For expatriates living or working in regions affected by conflict, crisis is not only a military or political event. It enters ordinary life through disrupted routines, uncertain information, anxious children, empty cash machines, transport delays, unreliable telecommunications and the constant question of whether today’s calm will still exist tomorrow. 

In such circumstances, preparedness is sometimes mistaken for pessimism. In reality, it is a practical form of care. A family that has thought ahead, gathered essential documents, agreed on a safe room and rehearsed simple communication routines is not surrendering to fear; rather, it is protecting its ability to think, decide and support one another under pressure.

The first psychological task in a conflict environment is to preserve a sense of agency. People are most distressed when events become sudden, unpredictable, threatening and uncontrollable. Under acute stress, the brain shifts towards survival responses: fight, flight, freeze or collapse. Rational decision-making narrows, attention becomes selective, and small tasks can feel overwhelming.

This is why crisis preparation should never be limited to logistics. Water, medication, passports and evacuation routes matter, but so do orientation, breathing, social connection and the ability to say: “I know what the next step is.”

When home becomes a shelter

A useful crisis plan is deliberately simple. Families do not need a thick manual; instead, they need a few agreements that can be remembered when the body is flooded with adrenaline: Where do we shelter if there is an explosion, air-raid alarm or shooting nearby? Where do we meet if we cannot return home? Which contact method do we try first, and what do we do if the internet fails? Which documents must be taken, and who is responsible for children, elderly relatives, pets or medication? Written answers, kept digitally and on paper, help restore control when concentration is under strain.

During an incident, the sequence should be short enough to become almost automatic: stop, shelter, check, contact. First, stop impulsive movement and seek physical protection. Move away from windows and exterior walls, avoid filming or posting, and do not expose yourself to gather information.

Once sheltered, check reliable official channels rather than rumours or social media fragments. Only then contact family or trusted contacts with functional messages: where you are, whether you are safe, and what you will do next. Long emotional exchanges can wait until immediate danger has passed.

For children and adolescents, the same principle applies, but the language must be even more concrete. Children quickly sense adult tension, even when adults try to hide it. Silence can therefore be more frightening than a calm explanation. A simple sentence such as: “something serious is happening in the region, so we are being extra careful; we have a plan, and we will take care of you” is often more reassuring than either avoidance or excessive detail. During an incident, a child’s rule can be reduced to the following: stop, stay with us, and go to the safe place. 

Preparation also means accepting that uncertainty has a psychological cost. Conflict environments often create chronic vigilance. Even when there is no immediate threat, people may scan news feeds, listen for unusual sounds, sleep lightly, become irritable or feel guilty for resting. These reactions are normal responses to abnormal circumstances. 

When someone else is overwhelmed, psychological first aid offers a humane and structured approach. The first step is to look: who is distressed, disoriented or in urgent need of help? The second is to listen without forcing disclosure. The third is to link the person to practical support, social support or professional care where needed. In the first minutes, the responder’s tone matters as much as the content. Speak slowly, introduce yourself, stay present and use short sentences: “I am here with you,” “you are safe now,” “we are inside,” and “it is over.” 

For yourself, simple regulation techniques are most effective when they are used early and repeatedly. For instance, breathing out longer than breathing in can help slow physiological arousal, and a brief pattern such as inhaling for four counts, holding for two and exhaling for six can be repeated several times before making a decision. Grounding can also reconnect a person to the present moment by naming what they can see, hear, feel, smell and appreciate, and a distress scale from one to ten is equally practical. At seven or above, the priority is not to decide faster but to regulate first. 

Beyond the policy manual

Organisations employing expats have a particular responsibility. Crisis readiness should not be left to individual courage; instead, employers should provide reliable security information, planning tools, access to psychological support, trauma-aware leadership and a culture in which stress can be discussed without stigma. Leaders should understand that resilience is not the absence of emotion. It is the capacity to remain connected, orientated and purposeful while under pressure.

The same applies to active citizenship more broadly. In a conflict environment, self-reliance is the ability of people, families and communities to contribute to safety because they have prepared, communicated and cared for one another. A 72-hour emergency kit, a family contact card, a safe room, paper copies of documents and a rehearsed communication plan are practical tools, but they also carry psychological meaning. They tell the nervous system: there is a plan, there are people, and there is a next step.

No plan will make crisis easy, and no preparation can guarantee safety. Yet calm, simplicity, preparation and connection make a measurable difference to how people function when events move faster than expected.

In uncertain contexts, the most useful question is not, ‘how can we avoid all stress?’ but, ‘what helps us keep thinking, caring and acting under stress?’ For expats and their families, that question can transform preparedness from an anxious checklist into a shared practice of resilience.

Erik de Soir is a trauma psychologist specialising in crisis response, rescue and survival psychology, acute stress, psychological aid and organisational resilience.